Leah Larson won the Wells Fargo Someday Stories contest and thus the $100,000 for Yaldah Magazine!!!!
Congratulations GALORE to Leah, and abundant thanks to all who voted and helped promote her cause and the contest!
(I'm off to do a happy dance... Yipee!)
(By request)
This is what I wrote last year for VetErans Day.
P.S. Thanks to the US Government for declaring the official spelling of the day with no apostrophe. I'm not so sure I agree stylistically, but it sure is easier to remember.
I'm obsessively checking http://leah.clkl.com/ because voting ends MONDAY NIGHT November 10, 2008 at midnight (California time, 3:00 a.m. EST) , and Leah ("Evelyn in MA") and Danny have been neck-and-neck for the past few weeks.
9:42 a.m. this morning (EST), Danny was up by 25 votes, but at 9:54 a.m. Leah was up by 23!! This is going to be a total "nail-biter" and every vote is vital!!
Please, please, please, VOTE FOR LEAH!!!! go to http://leah.clkl.com/ and vote for "Evelyn in MA"
See this previous post for more informaiton.
Please note, according to the rules of the contest:
In order to maintain the fairness and integrity of this promotion and to
ensure that each voter has an equal impact on the voting results, voting has
been limited to one vote per person and per email address.
"Hakarat haTov" is Hebrew for "recognizing the good", and is an important directive precept in Judaism. In this article the Rebbetzin's Husband * quotes Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt"l, who said, for United States citizens, voting is an expression of hakarat hatov, or gratitude, for all the freedoms and rights we enjoy in this country.
(And when you do vote this Tuesday, don't forget to collect your free coffee from Starbucks, as their way of saying "thanks for voting!)November 2, 2008 is the (extended) deadline for an international gratitude-related project, the Reverend and Mrs. Loketch Tribute book.
Earlier this month we sent out requests world-wide for people to share their memories and well wishes for our beloved synagogue sexton and his wife, who are retiring after 42 years. The results have been overwhelming, both in volume and content.
Collecting, editing and assembling the replies, I've been struck repeatedly by the scope and power of kindness and gratitude. The letters that have poured in, have arrived in many different formats, recounting the kindnesses that range from a warm greeting, to arranging of marriages; from not taking offense at a potential slight, to a lifetime of teaching and counseling.
Every note in this project is meaningful. Just as Aesop said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted,” the same can be said of expressions of gratitude. Even a quick e-mail can make a significant difference in how both the recipient and the sender perceive the world.
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(There were a lot of submissions that were not included in this carnival because they were outright SPAM, had nothing to do with the topic of the carnival, or violated the carnival guidelines. This month, SPAM outnumbered legitimate contributions 4:1! If you submitted something and feel yours was omitted in error, please review the guidelines and let me know.)
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Here's a quick and durable way to add a ribbon bookmark to a hardcover book, without defacing the book.
It's worth five minutes to install a set of bookmarks in a text at the beginning of a semester.
Thin satin ribbon spools often go on sale at craft and sewing stores (or the craft/sewing section of Wal-Mart) for 25 cents a spool.
For a text that I plan to study slowly and intently, I like to have four markers. To make this, I use two colors of ribbon, each cut to more than twice the height of the book. This will result in two markers of each of the two colors.
I start by poking a hole in the top of the spine with a thumbtack (or safety pin), just above the top of the pages.
I use a dental floss threader to attach the ribbon securely. In the picture below, you can see the floss threader threaded through the thumbtack hole.
I kept this picture in the tutorial because it shows the threader and the hole very clearly, but when I do this, I start with the loop on the opposite (inside) side of the book, with the lead on the outside.
Thread the ribbons through the floss threader's loop.
Pull the floss threaders taught.
Feed the tail end of the threader back through the threader's loop on the inside, and pull taught again.
Tuck the long end of the tail into the space between the cover and the book's pages. I use a cake tester or barbecue skewer to help push the tail and keep it from bunching up.
Lifting the ribbon up and over the back of the book, secure the ribbon/threader knot with a tiny bit of glue. Be careful not to let the glue get on the pages or interfere with the pages' movement.
Below is a better picture of what the finished product/floss knot looks like from the outside/spine of the book:
Obviously, this isn't suited to heirloom or very expensive books. But, for a "working text", I think the floss is discreet and unobtrusive. I suppose, it could be painted to match the book's spine, too.
Trim the excess length of ribbon on the diagonal, and (optional) add a dot of nail polish to the ribbon ends to prevent fraying.
A few bookdarts conveniently tucked away on the back page, and voila! Ready to study!
Julie is a hero. SHE doesn't know it. She's plugging along, running on empty, very cranky and tired. But she has a profound sense of duty and an indomitable determination.
Julie is fighting in the trenches, a Private in the war against Cancer.
As an oncology graduate student, she has little control over the strategic response or course of the battle. She must subdue her ego and muster her will every day to face tedious, exacting, frustrating, endless work with unclear results.
She often feels like a forgotten and unattended cog in the Great Machine of Science. And yet, she endures. Mindfully, and despite setbacks and threats of futility, she marches forward every day, and fights the Good Fight.
There is no way to know whether her work will be successful. But heroism isn't about success. Heroism is about facing the difficult, scary, and painful, despite the difficulties, fears, and pain.
Even if her work never leads to a specific advance in our understanding or treatment of Cancer, what she's doing matters. It matters because no war is won without the sacrifice of heroes. And those of us who benefit, owe them our gratitude and support.
Julie is having a tough day today. If you get a chance, please send her a comment of encouragement. Think of it as a letter to a soldier.
(P.S. Kudos to Leah and RivkA's kids, who just fought in this same war, on different fronts.)
I'm kvelling vicariously today.
Last month, G6 posted about her teen-aged son Joey's dream to be on the television game show, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
The show involves answering successive trivia questions. Each question doubles the reward, but carries the risk of losing all.
Joey is an Orthodox Jew, and is thus committed to observing Jewish Law.
He applied to the show, and, after a long wait, received an invitation to be on it. But the only date available was during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, during the time where participating would be forbidden.
Here is how he responded to the invitation.
At this point, he must have secured a Heavenly Reward that surpasses anything he could have won on that show.
But wait! There's more! Joey received a second call! The program's representative found another date.... AGAIN on a (different) Jewish holiday (Shmini Atzeret) during which work is prohibited. AGAIN, he declined.
I believe, just as in the format of the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" program, Joey just answered another question, doubling his reward.
His real payoff may be in a Realm beyond the reaches of the Blogosphere, but can you imagine how happy I was to read, that he was able to answer positively to the unprecedented third call?
Joey, when people want to know the definition of kiddush hashem, they can look to your example! May you enjoy every success!
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Update, unrelated, but related, too: Interestingly enough, I just came across this: "Who wants to Be a Millionaire?" (מי כעמך ישראל?)===============================================
The Sukkot/Shmini Atzeret Meal Planners for 2008 ~ 5769 are up. Enjoy!
[I know this is a bit off-topic for this blog, but I appreciate your bearing with me, as the deadline is quickly approaching, and we're trying to get a large and international response. - CLKL]
As you may know, Rev. Loketch has retired after 41 years as the Shamash of Young Israel of Brookline.
He and Mrs. Loketch have relocated to Detroit to be near their children. Rev. and Mrs. Loketch are spending the holidays in Detroit, but we hope they will return to Brookline afterwards so we can honor them appropriately for a lifetime of service to the community.
We are creating an album of our good wishes and special memories to present to them.
Please send us any photographs (copies, or originals if you want the Loketches to keep them), memories, good wishes (or even your children's drawings) that you would like to include in our album.
Please mail or email whatever you would like us to include, BY OCTOBER 26, 2008
to:
Young Israel of Brookline
ATTN: Rev. and Mrs. Loketch Tribute
62 Green Street
Brookline, MA 02446
e-mail: Tribute *at* yibrookline *dot* org
You may FAX us at: (928)752-8458 (Note: This is NOT the synagogue's FAX number.)
We also have a Facebook group: Loketch Tribute
[I've posted some of the memories received electronically on the facebook group in the discussion section.]
The Loketches have touched so many lives, in so many ways. Everybody is invited to participate, so please feel free to forward this request to anyone you feel might wish to be involved.
Thank you for your participation in this demonstration of our gratitude to and deep affection for Rev. and Mrs. Loketch.
[This is an edited version of the letter sent from the] Tribute Committee (in formation)
This is my favorite sukkah decorating project to make with a group of kids that span a large age range.
I've done this every year for many years with large groups of kids from the community, to decorate our synagogue's HUGE sukkah, with Boy Scout troops, and Bnei Akiva. We've also used this with our family sukkah at home.
The beauty is that it's a cheap, easy, and age-independent project. Since everyone gets their own page to color, minimal cooperation skills are required. I like how everyone works together on one big project, but each can take his own page to a corner of the room, without having to stake out space on a group coloring project.
In addition to the free downloadable sentence files below, you'll need a plastic disposable tablecloth in a bright color (not white), scissors, markers or crayons, and packing tape. One or two sticks or dowels, a bit wider than the tablecloth, is helpful but optional. We sometimes scavenge branches for this, for a rustic and natural (read:free) look.
(The sentence files are quite large. Right click and select "save target as..." to download them.)
Here's another free download to help keep track of things when there's a lot of cooking to do.
It's an "Oven Scheduler". Print one out for the refrigerator to help prevent oven overload (and human memory overloads!)
[Maybe this should be filed under "better (almost) late than never..." but I've received quite a few requests for these meal planners. I'll try to get the Sukkot version uploaded shortly after Rosh Hashanah, and update the link below with it then. In the mean time, please accept my wishes for everyone to enjoy health, happiness, peace and prosperity in the coming year.]
Per request, here are my meal planners for your (free) downloading pleasure:
Welcome to the September, 2008 edition of the Carnival of Overdue Thanks.
It's a relatively short edition, because the upcoming Jewish holidays are keeping many of us focused on non-blog related preparations.
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Trent's Everything’s So Easy for Pauline: Thoughts on Luck, Fate, Money, and Life posted at The Simple Dollar, is overflowing with gratitude, grace, and perspective.
G6 expresses "mundane gratitude" in I'm Thankful for my Family posted at Guess Who's Coming To Dinner by letting go and supervising less. May she know many a "snowglobe shabbos" in the upcoming year.
Ruti's A Thank You, To Elie's Mom. posted at Ki Yachol Nuchal!.
Gretchen's A wedding anniversary -- a good opportunity for gratitude. posted at The Happiness Project turns a celebration into a gratitude milestone.
ProfK's On Sexual Abuse and Denial in the Community posted at Conversations in Klal at first might seem like a strange addition, but I think we all owe thanks to her family.
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Donna Freedman presents Thanks, Dad, for useful life skills posted at Smart Spending, saying, "Thanks to the guy who taught how to make do, how to figure your way around a problem if you can't go through it, and, most of all, how not to give up."
Nicholas Powiull presents Conscious Flex: Life Changing Gratitude & Why it Works That Way: by Nicholas Powiull posted at Conscious Flex.
Kevin Brink presents The Lost Art of Saying Thank You posted at The Red Stapler Chronicles.
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(There were a large number of submissions that were not included in this carnival because they were outright SPAM, had nothing to do with the topic of the carnival, or violated the carnival guidelines. If you submitted something and feel yours was omitted in error, please review the guidelines and let me know.)
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I'm so excited!
Leah Larson, the 17 yr. old founder of YALDAH Magazine, is a finalist in Wells Fargo's $100,000 "Someday Stories" contest!!
Her mother, Evelyn Krieger (who speaks in the contest video), had to submit the application because she's only 17. She started the magazine just after her bat mitzvah. |  |
(Note: Registration requires a zip code. This is not meant to exclude those living outside the US, but rather, it is used to determine where the charitable donations (to Boys and Girls Clubs, Habitat for Humanity, or Junior Achievement) are to be distributed. If you live outside the US, you could use the zipcode for Leah's home town of Sharon, MA, which is 02067.)
More about Leah and YALDAH Magazine:
Look for YALDAH magazine at some (not sure which) Barnes & Noble stores, or order it directly from the YALDAH website.
Subscriptions are available at amazon, too.
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UPDATES: Spreading the word!
I started the "Vote for Leah" Facebook Group before discovering that there already was a group with over 80 members!. Please join either or both, and help spread the word!
Thanks, G6, for spreading the word: Support Strong Jewish Women Everywhere
Ezzie embedded the Leah's contest video submission in his post about Leah. Sephardi Lady of Orthonomics posted about it, too.
Mother in Israel shared it here. A living Nadneyda also spread the word here.
Wow! Reese on the Radio (WRKO) generously and kindly mentioned Leah and YALDAH and the contest on-air, less than 14 minutes after I clicked "send" on an e-mail to him. I'm so impressed that he can keep up with e-mail while running his live call-in program! Maybe he can share a few productivity tips!
Many thanks to Maimonides School for mentioning Leah and the contest in their newsletter.
Beyond Teshuva posted about Leah and the contest here, and Writes Like She Talks put a notice in Haveil Havalim.
A great article was posted in the October 17, 2008 issue of the Boston Herald newspaper.
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My tutorial, "Make your own cookie cutter from clip art and a foil pan" gets a lot of international interest, and continues to receive feedback in many languages.
Thus, I was delighted to find this detailed post in Spanish, with pictures that recreates and explains the method for a Spanish-speaking audience.
I was tickled to recognize my own thumb in one of the pictures (7th one down). I think that picture got mixed in with her own child's photos. Hey, even though I can't go on vacation to visit, at least my thumb did.
Great work, Cooke Mila!
P.S. Thanks to Chava for encouraging (okay, insisting) I submit Juggling Frogs to MarthaBlog be reviewed. I followed your instructions! I bet she'll come up with a fantastic list of new blogs for all of us to discover.
Last month, I announced this new carnival, motivated by a thank you note I read that morning.
I have been overwhelmed by the quality and variety of posts - some submitted and others I've discovered - during this month. I'm not sure what I expected, but you over-delivered. Thank you.
It is an honor to present the first edition of the Carnival of Overdue Thanks.
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Baila expresses her Gratitude to an entire community, in this beautiful and moving post.
Ruti Mizrachi's For Mama, a"h made me weep. It's a Jewish tradition to say "May her memory be for a blessing". Clearly, hers is. Her example is a blessing, too. I forwarded this to many people, including therapists who work with trauma patients.
Cynthia Samuels honors her heroic friend Rachel in Triumph Is Expensive saying, "Thanks to my friend whose work made a real dent in danger in the world."
Leora remembers a beautiful and enduring act of kindness in Thanks for the Beets.
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Ilana-Davita thanks Mother in Israel for connecting a number of kids in Ilana's class with a professional baseball player across the world.
Ariella presents Thanks (a primer for wedding thank-you-note etiquette or "Thank you note 101" for newlyweds) and her thoughts on written thanks due after receiving a gratuity in Thanks for the tip.
Robert's moment of gratitude transformed a brief encounter with a stranger and took my breath away.
Adam Berry shares some of the teachings of interdenominational meditation teacher Sri Chinmoy. Adam's post, The unexpected power of gratitude, shows, "The power of gratitude in our daily lives" through the idea that gratitude is something that you become rather than show.
Anna Farmery submitted a memory of an outing with her father, and how he built her confidence.
Caterina Rando sent in an article where she draws a distinction between compliments and acknowledgement, and recommends adding the latter as a habit in order to attract clients, saying, "Gratitude looks good on everyone. Here are some ideas for upping our acknowledgement where we need it most."
It wasn't submitted, but Seth's Old marketing with new tools, though written for marketers, gives a few pointers for ways to personalize thank-you-notes.
Home Life Weekly offers: "I would like to give my free printable thank you cards to the world to spread the word of thanks"
(There were a surprisingly large number of submissions that were not included in this carnival because they were outright SPAM, had nothing to do with the topic of the carnival, or violated the carnival guidelines. If you submitted something and feel yours was omitted in error, please review the guidelines and let me know.)
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DovBear asked a few suckers victims fellow bloggers to fill the gaping void while he's on vacation for a couple of weeks.
Here's my first guest post. (Please be gentle, it's my first time. Promise you'll respect me in the morning.)
UPDATE: Here's my second guest post, "Not such a happy Labor Day for Agriprocessors"
We wrote this a couple of years ago, as a roast/toast to one of our school's all-time favorite teachers (who is also a Beatles fan), known to all as "Rabbi E."
The kids were going to sing it to him at the end of the year, but they chickened out.
Rabbi E. (To the tune of "Let it Be" by The Beatles)
When I find myself in Talmud trouble,
My dear rebbe comes to me
speaking words of Torah, Rabbi E.
And when I open up my lunch
he is standing right in front of me
waiting for some pizza, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Whisper words of wisdom, Rabbi E.
And when it seems that Rav and Shmuel
completely disagree,
show us there's an answer, Rabbi E.
For though it's a real machlochet,
there is still a chance that they agree
It's all b'shaim shamayim, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Give us all new nick names, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Tell us a dvar Torah, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Make us love the Talmud, Rabbi E.
When my sister ate my homework,
have some rachmanot for me.
Let me hand it in tomorrow, Rabbi E.
I wake up to the sound of Eema
once again reminding me,
Talmud test tomorrow with, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
You make us love the Talmud, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Give us all a nickname, Rabbi E.
Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E, Rabbi E.
Thank you for your wisdom, Rabbi E.
Have you ever noticed, when someone starts a conversation with "I must be the worst parent ever, because..." what usually follows is great parenting practice?
Here are some recent examples:
"I must be the worst mommy in the world because I fed them macaroni and cheese from a box last night."
This, from a mother of many, who creates elaborate Shabbat meals every week, is only two loads away from an empty laundry basket, and has chaperoned nearly every field trip in countless years of her kids' lives at school. Oh, and they were home late that night because of an unscheduled doctor's appointment.
Yeah, she should have made them all wait for salad full of cruciferous vegetables glistening with antioxidants, cut on the diagonal.
"They're going to hate me because I wouldn't let them go to both birthday parties on the same day. It was all just too much for me. "
News flash: All parties are optional, with perhaps the exception of one's own. It's okay, in fact, it's good, to model moderation in one's social life. Any host who doesn't understand this, is worth seeing less, anyway.
"I'm such a bad mother. I ducked a play-date because I can't stand the other kid's mother. I'm going to ruin his social life."
Or, she's going to refrain from ruining her own. This is a complicated situation, but it's not bad parenting to respect her own boundaries.
"I'm the worst mother ever. I told him he had to walk home from soccer practice. I've only been to half the games because his sister's piano lesson is at the same time, across town. I told him I can't be everywhere. He told me the other mothers are always there."
I don't believe him. And even if he's right, and all the other mothers are there, so what? I mourn for the time when kids could play games without adult interference.
In the U.S., kids are so supervised, scheduled, monitored and chaperoned that it's rare that they get the opportunity to referee themselves and organize their own games. It's enough that we know where they are, and that they're safe. Why can't they have some experiences without an authority figure structuring and framing them? Not every kid-initiated activity degenerates into the Lord of the Flies.
It's also important for the child to know that his mother is human, and has limits.
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All of these decisions could have gone another way, and still have had reasonable results. It might have been better (or not significantly worse) to have used whole wheat pasta, carpooled to the parties, arranged a group play-date that minimized contact with the odious parent's lovely child, or developed a relativity-defying transporter that allows a parent to attend multiple simultaneous events. I don't know. Neither did they.
Being a parent means making countless decisions. Every choice has its trade-offs. (Otherwise, it wouldn't have been much of a choice, would it?)
When a thoughtful, invested and intelligent person wields decision making power, inevitably there will be mistakes. It's important to be open to evaluating the result and cost of our judgments.
When we become parents, we switch teams. We become 'them'. I think these "worst mother ever" stories originate from a holy empathy born of our previous affiliation.
We put on the Parent Hat, make the decision, then remember what it felt like to wear the Kid Cap. When we hold our ground, while respecting change the color of our team jerseys. The Worst Evers understand good sportsmanship.
Seeking feedback from choices requires depth and courage. If droplets of remorse are allowed to accumulate, it's possible to drown them, given the staggering quantity of small choices in a typical parenting day. These Worst Mom Evar stories serve an important purpose. They help us drain each other's buckets.
Meanwhile, don't get me started on those who proudly tout their systems, clearly convinced they've outsmarted childhood.
It's whenever I think (however briefly) I've "solved parenting" that the Universe promptly delivers a whack upside my head - like banging on a radio to get better humility reception.
I'm not saying there's no place for a positive evaluation of a great result, or that satisfaction is impossible. I'm not advocating neuroticism. It's just that complacency and smugness are incompatible with the authenticity and flexibility required for any important relationship.
So, give me the parents willing to consider their imperfections, those with active feedback-reception-loops who test their results and their measurement scales. Give me those capable of introspection, adaptation, and a sense of humor.
Go on, give me your worst. They're the best.
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Mazal tov to MamaBlogga on her new baby! This post was written in response to her "New Normal" themed group writing project.
Oh, and speaking of guilt and parenting decisions, Catherine presented this wrenching story today at her blog (coincidentally named "Her Bad Mother").
One of the fundamental principles of "Getting Things Done" is to establish and rely upon a "trusted system" to free brain cells for thinking, rather than remembering.
Today I learned how this good advice can be taken a bit too far.
I have a magpie-like tendency to collect casually-mentioned social information in my calendar in the form of dated but untimed notes. If a friend mentions that they're expecting a baby next October, I might put a note on October 1st with "So-and-so's baby due". When a cousin mentions the closing date on his new house, I scribble or enter it in the notes for that day.
Life gets busy, and it's hard enough to keep track of my own comings and goings, never mind those of the people I care about. So these little reminders help me remember others' important milestones, without taking up too much of my limited and taxed bandwidth.
This system has saved me from making awkward and inappropriate comments on more than one occasion. Sometimes I get to masquerade as a more thoughtful and caring person than I really am. Other times, this technique counterbalances an absentmindedness that could otherwise be mistaken for a lack of interest.
But, like any system, it is merely a tool. One can't rely on auto-pilot for take-off and landing.
Two years ago, a friend mentioned the date of her son's bar mitzvah in passing, and I quietly blocked off that weekend in my calendar. I wanted to be sure to be available to help. For her older children, I helped design, print, and stuff the invitations, hosted overnight guests, and was involved with much of the general schlepping and fretting associated with running the events.
I had every expectation to be similarly involved with her son's bar mitzvah.
So, as you can imagine, I was surprised and disappointed last week, when I went to book something for two weeks from now and saw it conflicted with the time I had blocked off.
The last time I spoke with my friend was the beginning of the Summer. I didn't give it much thought, because all of her children go to sleep-away camp, and she has a demanding career.
But, here was the reminder of this major family milestone, and she hadn't mentioned word one about the upcoming events. Clearly, I was not consulted because our family wasn't invited.
I started to agitate about this. Did I do something wrong? Did I offend her or her family in some way? Was I supposed to have done something that I forgot about? No. She must have had some need to cut off the guest list at a much smaller number than last time.
Or maybe she did invite us, and I misplaced the invitation. Maybe she didn't consult with me because she didn't really like the invitations last time, and she didn't want to be insulting. Or maybe it got lost in the mail. Maybe she's annoyed with me for not responding to this invitation I don't remember receiving. She could be sitting at home, right now, aggravated because she never received a response from me.
So, I spent the past week obsessing about this, making myself crazy with anxious speculation:
Should I call her and ask how the plans are going? No. If she didn't call to discuss the plans, maybe she's hoping that I won't remember them. Bringing it up would embarrass her. Or me.
Should I call her, just to chat, and see if she mentions it on her own? No. There isn't any precedent for phone chatting in our relationship, and she's probably really busy with the preparations. This would be the last thing she needs. Besides, it might seem like a hint for an invite, which would be awkward and annoying for both of us.
Maybe I should just buy the gift and send it now. But that's also easily interpreted as hint-like. What if I send the gift now, and get the invitation next week? Then it will clearly have been an afterthought to have invited us, and we shouldn't attend. If she invited us out of a feeling of obligation or guilt, our company would bring no pleasure and just increase her catering bill.
If we're not invited, do we send the same size gift as if we were? Is that very question fair, reasonable, or petty?
I could call our close mutual friend, and ask if she's helping. No. That's not fair, putting her in the middle of things.
I was hurt. And I was annoyed with myself for feeling hurt. There are so many factors in compiling a guest list, not the least of which is the cost of the event. Nobody's budget is infinite. The list has to be cut somewhere. How dare I presume that I'd be invited.
Perhaps we're not as close as I thought we were. Or maybe, she opted for a family-only celebration. But if she did that, I would have expected some mention of it. But then again....
This morning, I just couldn't stand it any more. I had to make a decision about scheduling something else on that date, and decided it was ridiculous to keep it blocked off just in case we were invited last-minute.
I saw it, just as I was contriving a pretext for the call while looking up her phone number. In the notes next to her phone number was the date of her son's bar mitzvah. In 2009. Next year.
The news is full of people blindly following their GPS instructions, driving off cliffs, bridges, and off the road, ignoring visible hazards. (Like Howie Carr says, "Who're you gonna believe? Me, or your lying eyes?")
I let my system steer me off a cliff, despite all the contrary evidence of our many years of friendship.
Maybe I'll show her this post. I don't know. I'm a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.
But for sure, I've learned a lesson about not putting more trust in a system than in a valued relationship.
Okay, I've had it. It's too hard to find everyone's user-id on Twitter. So I'm asking for your help.
I'm going to turn this post into a list of Twitter users, their names (or aliases), and a link to their blog or website (if applicable).
If you'd like to be included, please comment on this post, and I'll do my best to keep the list updated.
| Blog Name | Twitter user id |
| Juggling Frogs | jugglingfrogs |
| Ima on the Bima (Rabbi Phyllis Sommer) | imabima |
| Hydrangeas Are Pretty (Shelli) | saderman |
| Tamara Eden | tamaraeden |
| Orieyenta | Orieyenta |
| Mother in Israel | mominisrael |
| Here in HP (Leora) | leoraw |
| Blog to Discovery (Kate Davis) | katedavis |
| SuccessMakingMachine & JewCentral (Heshy) | heshys |
| Up the Hill Backwards (Susie) | upthehill |
| SerandEz (Ezzie) | serandez |
| Ilana-Davita | ilanadavita |
| Debizblog | debi_zyx |
| Kara Sheridan | KaraSwims |
| TherapyDoc ("Everybody Needs Therapy") | TherapyDoc |
| FrumeSarah (Rivster) | FrumeSarah |
| Jacob Richman | Jacob Richman |
| - - - | - - - |
| - - - | - - - |
| - - - | - - - |
| - - - | - - - |
| - - - | - - - |
I've started twittering. I'm not exactly sure why, or for how long, but I'm giving it a try.
For those who'd like to follow me on twitter, my username is jugglingfrogs.
Today is the Jewish holiday of Tisha B'Av. It is a fast day, traditionally spent studying the kinnot.
To hear a (free) live webcast of Rabbi Dr. J. J. Schacter's reading and commentary on the kinnot, click here: (The Kinnot are chanted in Hebrew /Aramaic, but this all-day lecture/seminar is in English.)
http://www.yutorah.org/tishabav/
It's helpful if you print* the source materials , at the right hand side of the page. (Or keep the .pdf open in a separate window.)
NOTE: When Rabbi Schacter refers to source page numbers, he means the handwritten numbers (not circled) at the bottom of the pages of the complete packet. These don't always line up with the pdf document's page numbers. When he refers to two larger page numbers in pairs, it's to those following the kinnot in either of two different books of the kinnot.
For those observing Tisha B'Av: Have an easy and meaningful fast. May this year be our last.
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Update: This is the book Rabbi Schacter edited and quoted, of the Rav's reflections on the Tisha BAv Kinnot.
*May I recommend that you print the source materials, but discard them appropriately tonight. As it says in the above-mentioned book, Rabbi Soloveitchik provides as an aside (page 133):
There is an old Jewish custom not to collect and put away the Kinot book for next year. I remember this as a child. They did not save the Kinot books for next year but read through them and put them in the shemot collection to be buried later in the cemetery. Every Tish'ah be-Av they would buy new ones. (Of course, the Kinot books were not as expensive as they are now, particularly those with commentaries and translations.) But the old custom was to buy new Kinot booklets every year. After all, after this year we will no longer need them. [...]
Don't worry. I'm not about to start revealing unpleasant personal medical information. I've started vermicomposting.
It's usually at this point, after I explain that I've voluntarily brought thousands of worms into my kitchen, that people start to back away, slowly, surreptitiously seeking the most direct path to the nearest exit.
You see, it's a bit of a stretch for a Jewish housewife to bring worms *into* the kitchen. Jewish dietary laws forbid ingesting worms, and the kosher cook is required to spend significant energy obsessing about inspecting produce for worms (and other bugs).
So I'd like to make it clear: We don't put the worms in our food. We put our food into the worms.
Adventures in Vermicomposting: Tales of the wet and squiggly.
It was a short but wiggly path to worm ownership. I'd read about it for a while and was intrigued by the idea of odorless composting indoors in the Winter; tantalized by the prospect of goof-proof fertilizer. Worm castings make excellent fertilizer that doesn't burn plants.
The "worm box" can be made almost arbitrarily small, and kept in the kitchen, basement, or an outdoor container (insulated when exposed to frost, and heated in extreme temperatures).
The only thing holding me back from full worm custodianship was that I was too cheap reticent to pay for the earthworms.
I mean, after all, we have a yard. We have a lazy and neglected compost pile. After every rainfall, earthworms sun themselves in our driveway. Pay for earthworms? You've got to be kidding! Or so I thought.
One day, about a month ago, as I sat at my computer, casually Googling "homemade vermiculture systems", I decided to start first, and figure out the particulars along the way.
From my desk, I called out to my son, who had the misfortune of being home at the time, "Jonathan! JONATHAN!!"
"Yes, Mommy?"
"Are you wearing shoes?"
"No." A sudden wariness curled the edges of his voice. After a beat, slowly and carefully, he offered, "I could put them on."
"Good. Please put on yucky shoes and go collect a bunch of earthworms from the yard."
"Huh?"
"You know, earthworms. I think 100 will be enough to start."
"But it's raining!"
"Exactly! That's the best time to collect them. They come out in the rain."
"No way. "
"What do you mean, 'no way'?! I'm your mother, and I want earthworms. Go get me some."
"Sorry."
"Didn't you hear me? I really mean it. I want you to dig up a bunch of earthworms for me. The sooner you get started, the sooner we can begin. I have a really cool project to do, and this is part of it."
"Look Mommy, it's not going to happen. I'm not going to go - out in the rain - get all wet and dirty - to dig up some disgusting worms. And I want nothing to do with any project that requires worms, or getting wet, or anything like that. "
"Look, Jonathan. You are my son, and I am your mother. The whole point of having a son, is that when you want earthworms, it's his job to go and dig them up. This is your job. "
"Nope. Not going to happen."
"Jonathan! The mother doesn't get her own earthworms. That's just not right. Please. Go. Get. Me. Some. Worms."
"Sorry. You're on your own." And with that, he retreated, barefoot and dry, to his room to do something useless and boring like study for a chemistry test.
Channeling The Little Red Hen and muttering under my breath something about "ben sorer u'moreh"*, I donned a pair of rubber gloves and set out to dig up a starter colony of earthworms.
Finding and capturing the worms was more difficult than I expected.
Our compost pile is mostly yard waste, piled high and left unturned for the eight years we've owned the house. The result is a cylinder of fantastic soil, ten feet in diameter, piled higher than me, without odors or pests. It has tons of earthworms and what I now recognized (thanks to the Internet) as worm cocoons.
The problem was, more often than not, they squiggled away from my wet grasp. The rain helped uncover them, but it also helped them escape.
Four hours later, drenched to the core and covered in mud, I declared victory and left the battlefield with my bounty: a mason jar of about fifty worms. "Discretion is the better part of valor", after all.
"Worms eat garbage. They make dirt. They don't have teeth, so they don't bite you. You have to hold them carefully or they will get squished. They poop and the poop makes the plants grow a lot. Some people think they're yucky or scary but we like them."
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